im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
