This dress was meant to end up on your floor
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize