dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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