Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Quick, to the slutcave!
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
