If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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