Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
