why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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