did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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