Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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