you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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