wanna go halves on a baby?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
