That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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