My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
