when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
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Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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