I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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