never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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