Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
