whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
