I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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