My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize