Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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