you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
My life is pants optional.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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