Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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