you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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