weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue