I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
