Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.