Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"