Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
COCAINE IS GR8
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
