I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
