You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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