When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
