oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
