You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I need water and some morals
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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