You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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