Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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