we have officially lost it.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
This is my gift to your gina
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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