We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
