Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
These tits shall not be calmed
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize