Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
