i think my tv is drunk
Where did you get a picture of my penis
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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