he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
