Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
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so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
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She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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