i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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