Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Vodka?
Forever.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
