before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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