is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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