There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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