apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
