Is it normal to miss your booty call?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
