sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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