i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
