Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
