I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
