please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
did i just pee glitter
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
