i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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