I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
We're not piercing ourselves today.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
