we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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