No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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