the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize