My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
