Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
